New allegations regarding Chagnon’s hatred of dogs…and graduate students!

March 6, 2013

New allegations surface regarding Dr. Chagnon’s hatred for dogs, and the irreparable harm he has caused them.  In his latest book, Chagnon goes so far as to compare Man’s Best Friend to academia’s lowest life form: The Graduate Student.  I ask you, does this man’s hatred for dogs know no bounds?  Special thanks to one True Believer for bringing this damning evidence to light.

An advanced copy of Chagnon's latest book.  Experts are divided as to whether it belittles dogs or celebrates graduate students.

An advanced copy of Chagnon’s latest book. Experts are divided as to whether it belittles dogs or celebrates graduate students.

At the request of several individuals, I have set up a relief fund for my dog (note: I am value her identity as an individual, but have been asked to withhold her name to protect her privacy, and to allow her to heal comfortably).  Unfortunately, I remain locked in bitter debate concerning how I will name this relief fund.  At the moment, I am split 33.33-33.33-33.33 between the Society for Underprivileged Canines Kicked by Indignant Teachers, and What Would Napoleon Do, and Why Kick Rover, Papa? (it remains unclear whether CBS still holds the rights to this acronym).  The remaining 0.01% of me has withdrawn due to conflicts of interest.

Finally, here is your opportunity to demonstrate solidarity with dogs everywhere who have potentially been hurt by these uncertain allegations of possible dog-kickery.

Looking for an efficient means of spreading gossip and innuendo while showing solidarity?  Look no further.

Looking for an efficient means of spreading gossip and innuendo while showing solidarity? Look no further.

[In all seriousness: Zazzle gives 10% royalties of any sales from their site.  Frankly, I don’t care about the money and am in this just for the satire.  Proceeds from t-shirt sales will go to a NPO/NGO of my choosing that works with the Yanomamo as well as towards anthropological research awards at MU.]

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